I am so full of rage today. 

I’m sick of being a slave to the boundaries of my body. 

I long for control. Choice. Independency. 

I hate feeling my friendships slip through my fingers as time continues to distance me from my favorite people. 

I so annoyed that my expectations shifted after getting my stent placed. How dare I dream of better days. 

I hate that after everything I’ve been through I’m still figuring out how to get through another day in my room with limits on everything that brings joy. I’m left rotting away in my bed. Day after day. Year after year. With a never ending list of things to try and a body that can only tolerate experimenting in the slowest and smallest of forms. Frustration building with every false story claiming that healing from ME is all about mindset and no fear. Don’t they know positive mindset and pushing the boundaries is what got me here? You can’t meditate your way through venous insufficient, or misaligned vertebrae. Deep breathing can’t solve a neuro immune metabolic multisystem malfunction.